How to Adress Conflicts Constructively

It's easy to think of a difficult conversation as a loud clash, but as we discovered, true conflict often lies in the quiet undercurrents of our interactions. In our session, we learned to navigate these waters with a steady hand, ensuring that even in the heat of conflict, we come away cooler and more connected. 

The core concepts of the session

🗣️ The Three Layers of Conversation

Recognizing that every conversation is really threefold—Content, Identity, Feelings—allows leaders to address not just the surface issue but the emotional and personal impact beneath. This approach ensures a thorough and compassionate resolution process.

💔 Unawareness of Underlying Feelings

Feelings often sneak into conversations disguised as content. By acknowledging and discussing these underlying emotions, leaders can prevent misunderstandings and resolve conflicts with greater depth and understanding.

❓ Three Central Questions of Identity

Conflicts can make us question our competence, goodness, and worthiness of love. Leaders benefit from addressing these identity concerns head-on, which not only resolves conflicts but also strengthens the team's bond and trust.

As we continue our journey from managers to leaders, let's remember that addressing conflict constructively is less about 'winning' and more about growing—both as individuals and as a team. It's about finding the harmony in discord.

Your Moment of Truth

This session was hard work. A lot of practicing difficult conversations. We generally hope that your days usually do not look like that.

Remember the Moment of Truth from your session when you reflected on who your most difficult conversation partner is? Now let's put the learnings into practice.

What is - for you personally - the key technique to master such difficult conversations better?

Schedule your Buddy Session

For us, reflecting in pairs was always really helpful. We would like to help you and your buddy to structure your conversation with these two hints:

  • Reflect on how you applied the key technique from our session.
  • Discuss with your buddy the situations where you used this technique and the outcomes it led to.

Books on the topic

Do you want more? More details, more examples, more stories? Here are our top recommended reads on the topic of this training session.

Difficult Conversations

Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen

The Power of a Positive No

William Ury

Podcasts for this session

We know that books are not for everybody. We rather would like to share our greatest finds from the podcast world on these topics with you:

Negotiating The World's Toughest Disputes

On The Learning Leader Show, Ryan Hawk talks to William Ury about the positive no and tough negotiations.
To the podcast

Frequently asked questions

Do you have additional questions than those on this page? Then please don't hesitate and ask us directly via
Where can I find the Miro board of my training?

The link to the Miro board for your program is in the recap email we sent you. This link remains for your program, allowing you to access the board at any time. For quick access, we recommend bookmarking this link in your browser.

I have a question about the training session. What can I do?

Simply reply to the recap email to connect directly with the responsible person for your group. If you can't find it, send an email to

Unfortunately, I missed this session. What now?

Don't worry, we are not leaving anyone behind! You should have already received an email to the 30-minute catchup session. If not, please contact us directly (email address in the recap or

Where can I find the recap of the other sessions?

Search your email inbox for the subject line "Leadership Training Recap. This search will retrieve all our recap emails, providing you with all the links to the session recaps. Again, let us know if something is missing.